You’d think it would be easy to let go of things that aren’t serving who and what we want to be in life.
But, it isn’t. It’s fucking difficult.
Jobs, relationships, ways we spend our time. They’re all difficult to walk away from, even when we realize it’s not getting us where we want to be.
The hardest part of my journey of getting healthy — and I’m not talking about the physical — has been learning to let go and walk away. From interests I used to have, from visions of what a relationship should be, from goals that were never truly my own, from ways of living that others deemed important…the list is sadly long.
Everyone has preconceptions about what we want and need that are informed by family, friends, co-workers, people we admire, and society as a whole.
Why in the hell should those actually matter?
When you figure out what your passion is in life — what you’re really meant to do — sometimes those preconceptions become not only unhelpful, but a flat out barrier to becoming who and what you want to be.
That profession you think you’re supposed to have and be successful in doing: do you enjoy it? Is it allowing you to pursue what you’re passionate about? If not, and if it’s not a stepping stone along the way to getting where you want to go, why are you there?
Those friends or colleagues you think you’re supposed to have: do you enjoy being with them, do they make you a better, happier person? They why invest time in them?
That way of life you think you’re supposed to live because that’s what people around you expect? So, what?
Do you like where you live? Not just your house, but the actual city or place? Are you there because you want to be, or because the circumstances of life not related to your passion brought you there? If it truly doesn’t match who and what you want to be, move…even if it takes a while to make it happen.
That relationship you’re in: is it going somewhere? Is it growing or is it dying — or even dead? That can be the hardest one of all. Are you serious about each other…like really, fucking serious about being together and feeling better when you’re around one another? Then go for it. But, if it fits the pattern of “I’m here because I think it’s where I’m supposed to be” or, worse yet, is more pain than happiness, even after valiant efforts…maybe it’s time to walk.
That’s scary beyond words. Those are life changing things: changing jobs. Moving. Breaking up. Changing the life you’ve constructed.
My God, that can be terrifying. And that’s ok.
I’ve found my passion. It’s helping people live healthier, happier lives…which starts with me, my lovely bride, and my children. There are a lot of ways that passion can come to life, but there are also a lot of things that can get in the way.
Old dreams, that were more my ego than my passion? Gone. Old friends, who weren’t helping me move forward? Gone. Old relationships that were more more suffering than nourishing? Gone. Old interests — like politics — that were based on a false idea of what I really found rewarding? Gone. Ideas about where and how I should live? Gone.
Have I completely gotten rid of everyone of those? No. It’s a process. Some of those things don’t happen overnight, just like chasing the dreams and passions I truly want now. But, it’s happening.
And it will never happen all the way unless I let go.
Maybe you can too. Because your passion is worth it.