Being Humbled

“You’re an over-thinker.”

That was an observation from my acupuncturist. I’m working through a hip and knee injury, caused by muscles and related soft tissue getting out of balance. I’ve done the traditional doctor and physical therapy game on these things. It doesn’t tend to solve the root problem. So, I’m now relying on chiropractic care, massage therapy (fabulous!), aromatherapy (more effective than it sounds), and now acupuncture.

“Over-thinker”? Guilty as charged. She also observed I’ve got too much stress. It’s leading to tightness and tension inside my torso, which is pulling up on my hip muscles…with all the resulting symptoms in my hip and knee.

She’s right.

For all my new approach to life, physical fitness, emotional balance, yoga, et. al., my stress level is high. I’ve had some rough patches this year.

My employer had a brutal spring, announcing a sophisticated cyberattack potentially affecting millions of our current and former members. When you’re in charge of Corporate Communications for such a company, that makes for a big damn challenge, with a helluva lot of pressure. I’ve never had to get so focused and perform at my absolute best, no matter the circumstances and stress. I did it. The team did it. We handled a tough situation phenomenally well.

And it took more out of me than I care to admit or recognized at the time. The stress of that time period was brutal. I’m still not fully back in balance after that.

More recently I hit another rough patch. Nothing profound or serious. Just the pile up of circumstances that happens sometimes in life. A slew of obligations and choices that required time and attention in the daily grind of life for several weeks, all while that physical injury has limited my workout routine, including knocking me out of the outdoor swimming workouts I’ve come to love.

And while my workout routine is inhibited, the time and energy required to treat, rehab, and rest the injury has been a pain in the ass.

I may not be a true Type A personality, but I’m a Leo. In Ayurvedic terminology, I’m more pitta dosha than anything. I have some fire in me. Some ego. A little bit of a perfectionist. I don’t like being told “no” or not being able to do what I want.

So having a nagging, time consuming injury that is telling me “no” and limiting what I can do is fucking with my chi, big time.

It was a jarring experience recently to be in that unpleasant grind of daily obligations and tasks, take a vacation to attend Wanderlust Whistler, and then return right back into that same temporary grind. Wanderlust was fabulous beyond words. The before and after was not. And I’d be lying if I said I handled that as well as I should have.

What happens when I get off kilter like that. I don’t show up the way I want, including with my wife and kids. I hate that, they don’t deserve it, and was guilty as charged recently.

Why do I share that I’ve been humbled by events and my own flaws and weakness?

I write to because I have something to say. A story to share. An impact to have. And it’s all bullshit if someone reads what I write and thinks everything is always rosy.

Life is messy. I’m messy. And sometimes being humbled or reminded of where we’re not all that is just what we need.

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